Little ol’ Brian “Never Bottoms” Ritz had himself some experiences this weekend which are now resulting in pain I can only equate to what my sister calls Cramps From Hell, right before she voms everywhere and falls over crying. Times are not too good in my body.

I went out with Hugo on Friday to The Boiler Room with the intention of only staying out a few hours. Never happens. Didn’t go to sleep until 11AM; cracked open a cold one at 8AM; made out with a hot Jewboy; took my roomie to the ER after my cat scratched her eyeball. Just another day in the life, I suppose.

While I’m updating you with what’s going on with me I might as well update you with people you care about. First on the list, Sir Phillipe Delvaux. He sent me these pics of him at Man’s Art, in Germany. He wanted to know what I thought. I think it’s kind of obvious what I thought:

LET ME SEE THAT BOOTY GO POP

Secondly, we’ve got more news from what I think I’m gonna start calling The Karson Korner (kute, huh? yuk yuk yuk):

“And in other news…I’m back from Key West, where I was for Fantasy Fest…with [Treasure Island Media]…We did some shows at an island house for a party. I had a scene with James Roscoe…Watch for the next new release from Treasure Island, I’ll be in it…Okay, going to bed now. I NEED MY BED BADLY.” –Jessy Karson

Hm. That about wraps it up for today’s Evening Porn Star News. And that’s how Brian…B’s it.